tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4562985240812080775.post7140988500444086314..comments2014-01-18T21:24:31.924-08:00Comments on Ailey's blog take1: One of my life's paradoxes, realized.Aileyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04521742851299143990noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4562985240812080775.post-74424279416119920132011-03-27T08:19:35.156-07:002011-03-27T08:19:35.156-07:00Yes, what a paradox.
I suppose part of what is ...Yes, what a paradox. <br /><br />I suppose part of what is frightening to children when their parents divorce is existential. If they are part of a result of a "bad" choice, then is their own existence based on...what? Would they not be here if we'd made a "better" choice?<br /><br />Thinking about your daughter made me think about my sons, and gave me a new angle in considering this. I've been thinking about it a bit anyway since my niece's birth was also the result of a "bad(?)" choice and association with the loss of my sister. I could appreciate how this would be a bit of a crisis, and then it occurs to me that it's not a whole lot different with children of divorce.<br /><br />I love what a character in one of Anita Shreve's books said: "You don't regret the choices that brought you your children." And I suppose we can extend that grace to ourselves, if we consider ourselves our own children. We wouldn't think of not loving our children, and who we are is also a result of our choices, and what we've made of them. I don't know. Who would we be if we'd chosen differently?<br /><br />It's been such a long slog for you and your family, these 99 + weeks. Right now you have to make the choices that get you through this, and you must feel like you're crossing a desert, or a wilderness. I look forward to a time when your life situation allows you more choices, and more freedom of choice.<br /><br />Love you.excavatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12977971829976807873noreply@blogger.com