"From chaos and emptiness,From loneliness and lifelessness,Come, Creator, Come.

From darkness and shapelessness, From abyss and awfulness,Come, Creator, Come.

From fearfulness and hopelessness,From weakness and dreadfulness,Come, Creator, Come."

David Adam, Tides and Seasons



I was thinking about what I would say tonite...not feeling very grateful or blessed at all. Filled instead with anger and disappointment and brokenheartedness. You see I don't want to step into the place of really baring my soul to my counselor because I don't want to let go of the idea that somehow he could someday be my friend or more, even though I know these are just desperate and probably displaced longings. But what am I going to do, drive the hour drive one time a week and pay what I pay, and really can't afford, to simply chat about spirituality and existential angst? I'm not getting any younger here. It's time to release the grip on the fantasy of that "good enough" love and figure out how to be there for myself. So, understandably, I wasn't feeling so grateful with what I see as my choices.



Then on my way here I stopped by my gmail (which is being really screwy and frustrating as of late) and quite by accident opened the email that contained the above prayer. It is absolutely perfect for how I'm feeling this evening and as I read the prayer and realized how perfectly it fit and how timely it was I was reminded of the dear friend who sent it to me and to many others whom she has included on a prayer list.



Then I went to a lot of trouble, fussing with my screwed up gmail, to send her a reply of thanks and appreciation for all she is to me. I am blessed with her and with my church family, the motley assortment of flawed and beautiful humans that they are.



The world is chock full of us flawed and beautiful folk. Thank God many of them are in Haiti and other places of great need, doing their best to help those victims of disasters natural and not, and many, they themselves the victims, helping, blessing one another.



So now I am not feeling totally grateful but at least have, keeping my sadness company, the knowledge of my belonging with this friend and with this community of faith that is mine...



And so I pray for our broken world full of flawed, broken and beautiful life...

"From chaos and emptiness,From loneliness and lifelessness,Come, Creator, Come.
From darkness and shapelessness, From abyss and awfulness,Come, Creator, Come.
From fearfulness and hopelessness,From weakness and dreadfulness,Come, Creator, Come."
David Adam, Tides and Seasons



May we be granted the grace of awakening to our Truest natures, the grace to bless each other and our world with transformation of the fearfulness, hopelessness and brokenness into something whole and life-affirming...It is our calling I think.